Snot Girl and Booger Boy

Chapter 4: The Discussion

Time passed, and the twins got a little older. Doctor Billit’s pills did little to affect Eleanor’s snottiness or Theodore’s boogeriness, and the combined nasal emissions of both twins combined with the overwhelming use of tissues, towels, and cleaning products began to be a frequent subject of conversation between Robert and Marjorie.

“Did you know that we are spending more money on tissues, towels, and cleaning products than we are on food?” said Robert over the top of his newspaper one evening.

“Really?” said Marjorie, glancing up from her knitting.

“Yes.” Said Robert, setting his paper aside. “The twins’ allergies have become quite expensive. I sometimes wonder if we should just cut off their noses.”

“Don’t be silly Robert,” said Marjorie, setting aside her knitting. “How would they smell?”

Robert looked annoyed.

“I was joking. But, honestly, their noses are threatening to bankrupt us.”

“Maybe you could sell the Melrose Sport and take the bus to work.”

The thought shocked and further annoyed Robert.

“Perhaps you could get a job. Contribute to our accounts instead of lazing around the house all day knitting and watching television, that sort of thing.”

Marjorie bristled. Was that really what Robert thought she did all day? Looking around at the spotlessly clean house, thinking of the meals she prepared every day, the grocery shopping only she did, the care and feeding and cleaning up after the twins, and the countless other things she did every day while Robert spent his days in town doing whatever it was he did.

“Perhaps you could go straight to…,” she thought as she picked up her knitting. She didn’t say it, but she thought it.

And then she had another thought. The twins were about to turn six, which meant they were about to go to school, which meant they would be someone else’s problem during the day.

So why not get a job, something to get her out of the house? Why, she might actually meet a friend or two. And make some money of her own instead of the “allowance” Robert gave her each week that barely covered the household expenses.

But what kind of job could she do? She had never really done anything.

Marjorie set her knitting aside again and walked across the room to where Robert had resumed reading his newspaper. As far as he was concerned, the conversation was over.

But then Marjorie casually took the newspaper from Robert’s hands and strode back to her chair, turning to the Wanted section.

“What the?” said Robert.

“I’m going to get a job.”

Robert smirked. “But what kind of job could you do? You’ve never really done anything.”

“Just watch me,” said Marjorie.