Snot Girl and Booger Boy

Chapter 6, Part 1: First Daze

August 15^th 1955, was a day of firsts. First day of schools for the twins, first day of work for Mother, and the first time the twins had something other than bananas and juice for breakfast.

Everyone but Mother was surprised to find eggs, bacon, and toast on their plates. Father and Mother had coffee, and Theodor and Eleanor had juice.

Mother smiled as she looked around the table, excited for what she was sure would be an exciting day for all.

“I want coffee!” said Theodore.

“Where’s my banana?” said Eleanor, snorting deeply.

“Only two strips of bacon?” questioned Father.

Mother’s smile twitched a bit. “That was all the bacon we had to go around,” she said. “I’ll get more at the grocer's in town. After work." She smiled again, remembering her excitement about starting her first real job. Of course, it was her second actual job, because she had worked at her father’s bakery from the age of ten until she got married.

“There would be plenty if you hadn’t given it to the—”

“Children need a good breakfast to stay engaged at school.”

“Do we have to go to school?” asked Theodore, picking his nose absently.

“Don’t pick your nose! Yes. You need to learn reading, writing, and arithmetic so you can grow up and contribute to society," said Mother as if she were reading her words from a book. “Besides, if you don’t go to school, the sheriff will take Father—”

“And Mother,” Father interrupted.

“—and me,” Mother nodded, a little peevishly, “to jail.”

“Can I go to jail?” asked Eleanor.

“No. Eat your breakfast. It’s almost time to go.”

With that, Father stood and, snatching a strip of bacon from Eleanor’s plate, picked up his briefcase to leave.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Mother before he turned to leave.

“Oh!” said Father as he bent to kiss Mother on the cheek and took a bite of toast from Theodore’s plate. “Don’t forget to get more bacon!”

Mother handed Eleanor and Theodore each a paper bag containing their lunch (a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a cookie, and an apple), another bag containing their school supplies (Eleanor’s was larger because it contained several handkerchiefs), and a penny.

“What’s the penny for?” asked Theodore.

“To pay for a bottle of milk to go with your lunch,” said Mother. “Don’t lose it, or you’ll have to drink water from the fountain.”

Eleanor got a serious look. “The fountain with the goldfish?”

Mother chuckled. “No, silly. There’s a drinking fountain in the school.”

Eleanor was not convinced but took the penny anyway. Maybe she could get candy instead of milk.

Mother ushered the twins out the door and pointed them toward the street.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Theodore.

“Oh!” said Mother as she bent to kiss each child on the cheek. “Now go straight to school and be good. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

“You’re not going to take us?” said Theodore, looking alarmed.

“I’ll be late for work. You know the way,” urged Mother as she opened the door of the Checker.

“But how will we know where to go when we get there?” asked Eleanor, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

“The Principal, Mr. Stell, will meet you and tell you where your classroom is. Don’t worry. He’s very nice.”

Of course, Mother knew nothing about Mr. Stell. She only knew that Mrs. Stell was a nice lady who sometimes said hello to her when they crossed paths at Mr. Lingle’s store, so she assumed Mr. Stell must be nice, too.

Because the crossroads was so small, no one had ever thought to name the school anything more imaginative than “Crossroads School”, and that was exactly what the sign chiseled in marble over the door said. Honestly, the only reason the school had a name at all was that the man who chiseled the gravestones for the cemetery had thought he could drum up extra business by chiseling marble signs for all the buildings at the crossroads. The only building he hadn’t chiseled a sign for was Mr. Lingle’s store, because Mr. Lingle told him he didn’t think his customers would appreciate it.

Crossroads School consisted of three classrooms, one office, and a broom closet (which might someday become a restroom). For now, there was an outhouse (unbearably stinky in spring and summer, and unbearably cold and still stinky with a touch of frost in the autumn and winter) in the makeshift playground (unbearably muddy most of the year).

As the twins strode a little hesitantly up the walk, they saw a short, stout man directing students into the building.

“That must be Mr, Stell,” said Eleanor.

“Mr. Stell!” Theodore called.

Mr. Stell glanced at the twins as he waved an older student toward the door.

“First or second?” he said brusquely.

The twins looked at each other. “First,” said Eleanor brightly as she sneezed a large snot bubble, wiping it away with her sleeve.

“We’re twins!” said Theodore.

“Good for you. First grade? Upstairs. Left. Mr. Leslie. You’re late,” frowned Mr. Stell.

As the twins walked up the stairs, Theodore wondered aloud, “He doesn’t seem very nice.” Eleanor snorted in agreement. “Maybe he’s just tired, like Father sometimes.”

At the door to their classroom, a pretty lady nearly crashed into Theodore.

“I’m sorry!” she said, reaching to keep Theodore from falling. “I’m Mrs. Leslie.”

“I thought our teacher was Mr. Leslie,” said Eleanor, wiping her nose.

“First grade?” asked Mrs. Leslie. The twins nodded.

“First grade is Mr. Leslie,” she said, smiling. “I’m Mrs. Leslie, third and fourth grade, but you can call me Leslie. I’m very progressive.”

Theodore was confused. “You’re Leslie Leslie?”

“Yes, and so is my husband, Leslie. But you should call him Mr. Leslie, because he’s more traditional. He’s first and second grade.”

“He’s Leslie Leslie, too?” snorted Eleanor, wiping her nose on the other sleeve, because the first one was saturated.

“Mr. Leslie, yes.”

The twins looked at one another, mildly perplexed.

Eleanor sneezed loudly, and Mrs. Leslie offered her own handkerchief so Eleanor would not use her sleeve again.

“I used to be Leslie Lipschitz. And then I married Mr. Leslie, and I became Leslie Leslie, and he was always Leslie Leslie, so here we are.” Mrs. Leslie was a little silly, but the twins liked that.

As Theodore and Eleanor walked into their classroom, they hoped the rest of school wasn’t as confusing as Mrs. Leslie.