Snot Girl and Booger Boy

Chapter 8: Mrs. Perdlow, Dwayne, and the Basement

Mrs. Perdlow had the hardest row to hoe with the fifth- and sixth-graders, who had reached the point of starting to grow up and stop being children. Boys and girls alike were suddenly less interested in learning to read, write, and do arithmetic, and more interested in learning about one another. Mrs. Perdlow was a stern, no-nonsense, old-school, spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child teacher who took no guff from her students, and they had learned to respect her and, for the most part, steer clear of the rod.

She had just managed to quiet her 11 students (six fifth-graders and five sixth-graders) down and prepare them for what would be the start of a grueling series of lessons about ancient Rome.

Mrs. Perdlow loved the classics and would have been at home teaching them at the college level, instead of an elementary school on the east end of nowhere, but she was stuck at the crossroads because her husband, Mr. Perdlow, was born here and refused to leave.

The Perdlows did not own a car, and both considered the bus filthy and unsafe. Besides, the bus only went to town, not the city, where the college was.

So Mrs. Perdlow was already in a bad mood when Dwayne knocked.

“What do you want?” Mrs. Perdlow asked as she opened the door, not even looking at Dwayne.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Perdlow, but Mr. Leslie told me to come down here and see if you had a spare desk he could borrow for Norman Larfa.”

Mrs. Perdlow frowned, more than usual. Stepping aside, she opened the door wider and motioned to her class.

“As you can see, I have only 10 desks and 11 students. So, no, I do not have a spare desk Mr. Leslie could borrow for Norman Larfa.” She then closed the door, leaving Dwayne in the hall.

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Dwayne thought for a moment. He liked Mr. Leslie, who had given him good marks in first grade, and didn’t want to disappoint him by not returning with a desk for Norman. Then he remembered something he had overheard the principal, Mr. Stell, telling Mrs. Leslie.

What he had heard was “Basement.” Unfortunately, the part he had not heard was “Never go in the.”

Putting two and two together, Dwayne assumed that, because his dad used their basement at home to store old furniture and other things, Mr. Stell probably used the school’s basement to store spare desks.

Dwayne went downstairs and through the door that stood between the broom closet and Mr. Stell’s office. He didn’t know the door led to the basement, but since Mr. Stell’s office door had a sign on it that said “Principal” and the broom closet had a sign on it that said “Janitor,” he assumed the third door must lead to the basement. Mr. Leslie had told Dwayne once “You know what happens when we assume?” but didn’t say anything else, so Dwayne figured it was OK to assume the door led to the basement. He assumed correctly.

Opening the door, Dwayne felt cool air and smelled the same mustiness he smelled in his basement at home, so he knew he was on the right track. Of course, it was dark in front of him, but with the light coming from behind him, he could just make out some stairs leading downward. He found a light switch and flipped it on, throwing a yellowish glow down the stairs into more darkness.

Dwayne walked down the stairs, and just when he reached the bottom, at the edge of the new darkness, as he searched for another light switch, the door at the top of the stairs slammed shut. And the lights went out.