Snot Girl and Booger Boy

Chapter 10: Beans and Franks

When Marjorie got home, Robert was already in his chair reading his newspaper, while the twins sat in front of the television, arguing about how much better the new Mickey Mouse Club would be than “dumb old Howdy Doody” (as Theodore felt).

“Did you get the bacon?” asked Robert from behind his paper.

Marjorie sighed and crossed the room, ignoring Robert.

“Mother!” shouted the twins as they ran to greet Marjorie.

“Tell Theodore that Howdy Doody is better than the dumb old Micky Mouse Club!” Eleanor whined, snorting deeply.

“Well, I don’t know.” Marjorie chuckled as she hugged the twins. “The Micky Mouse Club hasn’t started yet, so we’ll have to see.”

“I guess,” pouted Eleanor.

From behind his newspaper, Robert muttered, “Any chance we’ll get some dinner before Mickey Mouse shows up?”

Marjorie glanced toward Robert, grimaced, and, kissing each twin on the forehead, went to the kitchen.

At the dinner table, Robert looked derisively at his plate while the twins dug in excitedly.

“What’s this?” Robert said, motioning at his plate.

“Beans and franks,” said Marjorie, sipping from a glass of iced tea. “Obviously.”

“They’re really good, mother!” said Theodore.

“Hmph,” Robert said, dropping his fork onto his plate with a clink.

“It’s all I could whip up in a hurry, since you seemed to be starving.”

“Are you going to be late every night?”

“It’s a nine-to-five job in town, so probably ten minutes or so, but I was a little extra late tonight because I was speaking to the mill foreman.”

Picking up his fork and stirring around in his plate, Robert said, “Hmph. Mill foreman? You got a job at the woolen mill? On the looms?”

“No,” said Marjorie excitedly. “I thought I was going to be a receptionist, but Mr. Weebly, that’s my boss, needed an executive assistant, so he gave me that job instead.”

“How much?”

“$60 a week!”

“Goodness. $60 a week,” said Robert, skewering a frank with his fork. He didn’t mention that he made only $10 more a week at his job in the city. As an executive assistant. Still, Marjorie’s pay plus his meant they could afford something other than beans and franks for dinner.

Silence followed—except for the clinking of forks and the chewing of franks and beans—for a few moments.

“How was your first day of school, children?” asked Marjorie.

“It was okay,” said Eleanor, sniffing.

“Did you learn anything?”

Theodore set his fork down before reciting, “A is for apple, B is for—”

“Bacon,” Robert interrupted.

“No,” Theodore said slowly. “A is for apple, B is for bear, and C is for chicken.”

“And this great big kid Norman is too fat to sit in a desk so he has to sit at a table and Mrs. Leslie had to send him back to second grade because—” started Eleanor.

“—he’s too big and dumb for third grade,” Theodore interrupted.

“Don’t interrupt your sister while she’s talking,” Robert scolded.

“Because he’s from the South," finished Eleanor, sniffing.

Then Theodore took over.

“So Mr. Leslie—”

“He’s Mrs. Leslie’s husband,” Eleanor interrupted.

“Don’t interrupt!” said Robert and Marjorie at the same time.

“Mr. Leslie sent Dwayne to Mrs. Perdlow’s room to see if she had a desk that would fit Norman because he’s fat. But he was gone a long time, so Mr. Leslie sent Jimmy to Mrs. Perdlow’s room to get Dwayne but she said she sent Dwayne back but he didn’t come back.”

Out of breath, Theodore stopped to take a drink of milk.

While Theodore was occupied, Eleanor jumped in. “But then Mr. Stell knocked on the door and he had Dwayne with him and he gave a speech about never going in the basement and it should have been locked but it wasn’t and someone could get hurt.”

“Who’s Mr. Stell?” asked Marjorie.

“The principal,” said Theodore at the same time Eleanore said, “The janitor.”

“So the little boy was alright?” asked Marjorie, concerned.

“Yep. I mean yes,” said Theodore. He went in the basement, but Mr. Stell didn’t know he was there, so he turned off the light and closed the door. When he heard Dwayne pound on the door, he wasn’t happy!”

That night in bed, Marjorie told Robert what she had learned that day from Buck Falldon.

“Have you ever heard anything about that?” she asked.

“That was a long time ago. I’m sure there’s nothing to be worried about now,” Robert said before kissing Marjorie and rolling over to go to sleep.

But Marjorie wasn’t so sure.

© 2026, Brian G Parker